My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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