This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize