I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
