he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
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he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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