I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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