If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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