considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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