There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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