stop calling my apartment porn island.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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