i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
