I like my sex mixed with concussions.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
