On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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