why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
