she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
