Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
