im gay
i know
yea but for you.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
