I wish i was in the wii world.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
