i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
