U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
foreskin is a definite game changer
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
