didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
