This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
