hell yes lets make some ravioli
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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