I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
