its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You did what with his pubic hair?
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