I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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