i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
