My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
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He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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