The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
