I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
