If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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