I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
