your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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