i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
