3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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