is your mom at the bar?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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