meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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