Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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