to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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