at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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