If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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