If that was your dad, he is hot
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
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