my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
