i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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