I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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