first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Someone shit on the floor
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
