If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
