my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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