Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
