I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
