i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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