If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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