She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dick very happy bro
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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