covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
