ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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