i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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