Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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