I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm having to shit out rocks
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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