This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
