you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She said her name was "party"
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need to calm my uterus...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
