smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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