How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
