Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
