Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am naked and annoyed.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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