ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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