Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
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I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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